Shame on Me

What is the matter with me?! You know, I've always been one to have pretty good willpower. I quit smoking cold turkey, I was able to keep my weight down and go to the gym 5X a week for 2 years, and obviously I didn't have a problem sticking through school and doing well...so then why can I not stay away from this poor, unsuspecting, 20 year old kid. I feel like a bit of a predator, you know. We hung out last night; we went to Starbucks, had dinner at Longhorn, then went back to his place and watched I Heart Huckabees (which was weird and unique, but I'll get back to that later). We ended up making out (well not really "ended up", I mean I was planning on doing that the whole time, so really, I don't think he had any choice in the matter). We had good conversation and I pretty much told him that I was just using him for sex (not that we had sex last night). To my surprise, he was visibly upset. I thought he would be all for it, but I guess he's gotten more attached to me than I had figured he would. He ended up telling me his life history and why he had joined the airforce...and it wasn't pleasant. Which makes what I am doing with him even more screwed up. This poor kid has had a lot of hardship, and the last thing he needs is for me to toy with his emotions, right? Even so, I can't help but be selfish. I mean, I deserve a little fun, and a fling is just what the Doctor ordered. The only thing is, he still has a lot to learn, and I'm not sure if I am up to teaching him. His kissing needs to be improved on...alot. It's very elementary and distant. And as far as him holding and touching me like "a man"...well, let's not get me started. He's got a great body though, and I love his chest. Still, the work might outweigh the fun part. We will just have to see.