What to Do

Ok, I would first like to make this diclaimer: I am not CONFUSED as to what to do about Quailman. I know exactly what I should do. I know severing the relationship makes the most sense. I know what I am doing is not fair to him. He is just getting more and more attached as each day goes by. I am giving him hope when there is none and he is trying so hard. He actually wants me to tell him what he's doing wrong, so that he can not "screw" things up...which is just messed up. And he told his Mom about me...yikes!

So let's just call what I'm doing what it really is; a bad choice. I full on admit what I am doing is wrong, and I don't expect anyone to back me up. I am taking this fragile little boy and toying with his emotions. I am not proud of it, and I don't have an excuse for it. I will not try to justify my actions either. I am very well aware that my actions are not cool by any means, and what type of person this makes me.

That being said, I'm still gonna do it for a little while longer. I like the attention. I like that he's so into me. I like that he thinks I am smart, and it's so cute how he gets so excited over little things about my personality. I like that he's trying so hard to "make things work" and I like that he's trying to find a way to get in good with my friends. He's doing everything that a guy should do. He really is.

So on one side of the scale I have my feeling-good selfishness and on the other I have the guilt-striken feeling of doing something morally wrong. Right now the scale is tipped in favor of me, but it probably won't take long before the guilt consumes me and it isn't fun anymore.