Obsessive Much?
Ok, so I can't stop thinking about what this guy Don is thinking about me? I haven't heard from him since I left him on Monday night. No, call, no VM, no IM's, no text message, no e-mail. Nothing. I'm reading the new Dr. Phil book, Love Smart, and in there he says to not make yourself so readily available to a new suitor. If he calls last minute and wants to go out, you're supposed to say that you already have plans with, "um, a friend", even if you don't. Supposedly, this will make him desire you more and take you for granted less because he has to fight for your attention. "Guys value things that they have to work hard for", according to Dr. Phil. So I suppose if I do hear from him tonight or tomorrow, I should say that I already have plans. It sucks because I would like to see him, but I guess that's not how you win the game.
Dr. Phil also says that guys compartmentalize everything and become focused on whatever is in front of them. So he's caught up at work and can't think about anything else? This completely goes against the "He's Just Not That Into You" book which states, "if a guy's not calling you, he's just not that into you." So which is it?
I mean, I'm sure I'm over-thinking everything anyways. I mean, we've only gone on like 4 dates...but the last 2 were really really long dates. Date 3 was 14 hours long (minus sleeping time), and date 4 was 13 hours long. So really if you broke that time up into regular 4 hour date times, then we're on like our 8th date or so! Ok, ok, so I'm trying to rationalize something using sub-cranial logic here.
Dr. Phil says that you're also not supposed to smother a guy with e-mail or phone calls during the day...no matter how much you just want to "check in" or "call to say hi". "It will put you on par with telemarketers and make him wonder if dating you is going to be another full time job." "And it makes you look desperate and needy."
Dr. Phil has a funny "male-speak translation" page where he compares what a guy actually says to what he actually means. Here are some examples:
He says...........He means
Another glass of wine?......Drink up, we'll both look better.
I'll call you....Good-Bye.
I love you.....I want to have sex.
I'm going out with the guys.....If Dave had breasts, I'd never see you again.
I've just been really busy with work....I'd rathar take a beating than spend another hour with you.
But we just spoke two days ago.....How can I miss you if you won't go away?
It would take too long to explain.....I have no idea how it works.
The last one is my favorite. That's classic Bobby-speak (my ex-husband). He would constantly make me feel stupid because he wouldn't explain anything to me. Later on, I realized it wasn't because he thought I couldn't comprehend anything, it was because he really didn't know the answer and didn't want to admit to it. But he never let me in on his little secret. He would rathar me feel dumb than admit that he didn't know something. Nice guy, huh?
Bottom line, I don't know what I'm going to do if this guy calls me for this weekend. I've never made a guy "work" for my time before because really, it seems not only counter-intuitive, but counter-productive to me as well. I've never been into the "playing games" thing because I thought I was above that. But guess what? Whatever I've been doing so far hasn't been working for me, so I might as well try a different approach, right?
Dr. Phil also says that guys compartmentalize everything and become focused on whatever is in front of them. So he's caught up at work and can't think about anything else? This completely goes against the "He's Just Not That Into You" book which states, "if a guy's not calling you, he's just not that into you." So which is it?
I mean, I'm sure I'm over-thinking everything anyways. I mean, we've only gone on like 4 dates...but the last 2 were really really long dates. Date 3 was 14 hours long (minus sleeping time), and date 4 was 13 hours long. So really if you broke that time up into regular 4 hour date times, then we're on like our 8th date or so! Ok, ok, so I'm trying to rationalize something using sub-cranial logic here.
Dr. Phil says that you're also not supposed to smother a guy with e-mail or phone calls during the day...no matter how much you just want to "check in" or "call to say hi". "It will put you on par with telemarketers and make him wonder if dating you is going to be another full time job." "And it makes you look desperate and needy."
Dr. Phil has a funny "male-speak translation" page where he compares what a guy actually says to what he actually means. Here are some examples:
He says...........He means
Another glass of wine?......Drink up, we'll both look better.
I'll call you....Good-Bye.
I love you.....I want to have sex.
I'm going out with the guys.....If Dave had breasts, I'd never see you again.
I've just been really busy with work....I'd rathar take a beating than spend another hour with you.
But we just spoke two days ago.....How can I miss you if you won't go away?
It would take too long to explain.....I have no idea how it works.
The last one is my favorite. That's classic Bobby-speak (my ex-husband). He would constantly make me feel stupid because he wouldn't explain anything to me. Later on, I realized it wasn't because he thought I couldn't comprehend anything, it was because he really didn't know the answer and didn't want to admit to it. But he never let me in on his little secret. He would rathar me feel dumb than admit that he didn't know something. Nice guy, huh?
Bottom line, I don't know what I'm going to do if this guy calls me for this weekend. I've never made a guy "work" for my time before because really, it seems not only counter-intuitive, but counter-productive to me as well. I've never been into the "playing games" thing because I thought I was above that. But guess what? Whatever I've been doing so far hasn't been working for me, so I might as well try a different approach, right?
posted by Rene' @ 1:06 PM
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