Lifetime

So, yes, occasionally I will watch the "chick channels" (Oxygen, Lifetime, and WE) when I am wasting away my life on the couch over the weekend. So there I was, in my PJ's (ok, not that I really have PJ's, it's usually just whatever I find on the floor to put on so as not to frighten my roommate with my nakedness when I emerge zombie-like into the living room). So there I was, in my "floor clothes" watching "She's Too Young" on Lifetime because there was nothing else on TV (amazingly, I had caught up on all my DVR shows) and I started to really get freaked out about this movie. I started to wonder what the heck I was going to tell my future 14 year old daughter in order to stop her from becoming a little slut, or to be taken advantage of by older guys like all the girls in this movie. Things aren't like they used to be back when I was 14. I was still playing with my barbie then, u know? Add to that the fact that I was a late bloomer and from a very conservative, small town, and I didn't know the first thing about sex. This movie portrayed 14 year old girls as having multiple sex partners (sometimes more than 20) and all of them contracting syphilis. WTF!? I know it's TV, and they exaggerate things sometimes, but I'm sure the truth is not too far off from this. And the lies these girls told their Mom's about what they were doing...so manipulative. "Of course I'm still a virgin, Mother...why would you ask such a thing...don't you trust me?"

Now, I consider myself a very practical, logical, no-nonsense type of person, but I don't always know the right thing to do. And to fail as a parent by letting your teenager get into something they're not ready to deal with is one of my biggest fears. This is all under the assumption that I will one day have children, of course, which is in and of itself another great fear of mine.

I was thinking maybe I would do role playing with my daughter. I know for myself I find it easier to stand up for myself if it is something I have said out loud before. Hey, parents do it with drugs, smoking, kidnapping...why not do it with sex? You know, clue her in on some of the things guys will say to get in her pants. "I just want to be close to you, is that so wrong?"

Another thing I think is important for girls to know is the emotional aspect of sex. Noone talks about that part. Kids get bombarded with info about teenage pregnancy and STD's, but noone ever mentions how they will feel before sex, during sex, after sex. It's such a huge part, why does noone discuss it? It's almost like by taking away the emotion, society is turning sex into just "something that you do", not something that you feel, and I think that is a big part of why teens are having sex earlier and earlier.

Now don't get me wrong, I like sex just as much as the next person, and I went through my kinky slut stage in college, but it got really old, really fast. Without strong feelings for the other person, it became mechanical. I felt like I was putting on a show, or acting out a play, u know? I always wanted to take a bow afterwards and collect my rose boquet from the stage manager.

These are just some of the feelings I am talking about. Kids need to know that sex is just not worth it unless there are strong feelings involved.