No Fair!
I don't know why this popped into my head, but it did, so now I want to write about it. It involves a discussion that I had with the girls a few months ago. It was one of those "If you had three wishes" discussions. Every single one of us said we would use one of our wishes to "have the perfect body", or "be desired by all men", or some form of physical reconstruction. So we all started discussing how messed up that was and then began to analyze why women think that way. My roommate, Jill, brought up the point that if you ask a man the same question, he would probably use one of his wishes to create a woman who has all the physical qualities he desires (ala Weird Science), but not change his physical appearance.
Isn't that messed up!? Women are so conditioned to looking attractive for men that we automatically think to change ourselves instead of the other way around. Why didn't I use one of my wishes to create the perfect man who loves me the way that I am now? I don't really have an answer to that question, but I have been delving into the man/woman psyche lately and I can desribe something that I have learned that might shed some light on this conundrum.
Men are more visual creatures. Their brains are mostly stimulated by what they see. Women know this, that's why we choose to spend 2 hours getting ready for a date. Women, on the other hand, are more stimulated by conversation and communication (verbal and non verbal). This might explain that old saying: Men fall in love with their eyes; Women fall in love with their ears. I mean, take the character Alan Shore from Boston Legal. He's not a particularly attractive man, he's a little overweight and very plain looking. But the way he speaks can melt me, bring me to my knees in 10 seconds flat. So, in actuality, I really don't care so much about how he looks (within reason, ok...I don't plan on dating any eloquently spoken sea monsters in the near future...but give it another 10 years of me being single, and we'll talk).
Now this whole premise sucks for women because we end up getting the short end of the stick in this deal. Not only do we have to spend more time getting ready and looking pretty, which is a HUGE pain in the ass, but also, most men are not great communicators. Their brains just aren't wired for that. So there's almost no reciprocation or pay-off for our efforts!
Therefore, women end up getting shafted once again. No fair!
Isn't that messed up!? Women are so conditioned to looking attractive for men that we automatically think to change ourselves instead of the other way around. Why didn't I use one of my wishes to create the perfect man who loves me the way that I am now? I don't really have an answer to that question, but I have been delving into the man/woman psyche lately and I can desribe something that I have learned that might shed some light on this conundrum.
Men are more visual creatures. Their brains are mostly stimulated by what they see. Women know this, that's why we choose to spend 2 hours getting ready for a date. Women, on the other hand, are more stimulated by conversation and communication (verbal and non verbal). This might explain that old saying: Men fall in love with their eyes; Women fall in love with their ears. I mean, take the character Alan Shore from Boston Legal. He's not a particularly attractive man, he's a little overweight and very plain looking. But the way he speaks can melt me, bring me to my knees in 10 seconds flat. So, in actuality, I really don't care so much about how he looks (within reason, ok...I don't plan on dating any eloquently spoken sea monsters in the near future...but give it another 10 years of me being single, and we'll talk).
Now this whole premise sucks for women because we end up getting the short end of the stick in this deal. Not only do we have to spend more time getting ready and looking pretty, which is a HUGE pain in the ass, but also, most men are not great communicators. Their brains just aren't wired for that. So there's almost no reciprocation or pay-off for our efforts!
Therefore, women end up getting shafted once again. No fair!
posted by Rene' @ 11:21 AM
5 Comments:
At 2:39 PM,
JGirten said…
I BEG TO DIFFER--
It is funny you said that about the conversation and guys have also had that conversation. I dont think this can be split into man and woman. This is more of an individual thought process. the thing is you said if you gave that question to men you would get that answer, but did you really put it to test or go with the stereo typical guy? PLUS, you are the ones that said you would want to be that way. Look in the gym at the amount of men in there who are worried about looking good, pumping up and showing off, you know what I am talking about.. ha ha women come in and get out where a guy makes it a whole social thing and will be there for hours. While it may take you hours to get ready right before a date, the man has put in many more hours to get to the point of getting the date!! ha ha
J
At 3:05 PM,
Rene' said…
So sad that men think that women think the way they do. We are not visual creatures, so stop making your biceps as big as King Kong! I'm not impressed! Men should spend less time at the gym "pumping iron" and more time at the library reading books on "how to seduce women with your words".
At 4:24 PM,
JGirten said…
WAIT A MINUTE.. this is not ALL men.. I like to think of myself to be the minority in this group.. I do have a mind and can communicate.. I was not saying you were wrong, I was agreeing with you and posinting a few statistical facts out to you. I agree there needs to be a happy mediun between beatuy and brawn.. (yes women can have brawn.. ha ha it is not a bad thing..) Remember that you are the one that said that each one of you wanted one wish to be that you would have the perfect body.. but then again a perfect body is in the eyes of the beholder.. and that can be test by anyone.. man or woman.. or to be desired by all men.. I for one will say that looks are nit everything..
At 8:53 AM,
Rene' said…
I suppose I should post a disclaimer so that we can discuss the issues and not get hung up on semantics: From now on, when I say "all", "never", or "always", there will always be exceptions, but I use these words to encompass the majority...exaggeration lends more of an impact, don't you think?
At 9:44 AM,
JGirten said…
I agree and I understand where you are coming from. I guess I look at things a different way because I tend to think of myself to be in that minority of men and have also been told that I am in that minority. I agree with what you say that men fall in love with their eyes and women with their ears.. That is very true, but there are different levels of love.. True love is from the heart and is a combination of the eyes and ears.. because who wants to be seen with a eloquent troll.. ha ha
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