Carnie Fish

Yea! I finally got full clearance the other day! And after only 9 months of waiting. The lag time has gotten tremendously longer since 9-11, but I thought since I was clean as a whistle that it would'nt take so long for me. I was wrong. But, no matter. I have it now and as long as I keep it (ie. don't do anything stupid, like committ treason or anything), then I am always one up on someone without clearance when it comes to jobs.

I developed a new pet peeve the other day, and I think it is one that that we can all relate to. So you're going throught the fast food drive through. Why? Because it's cheap, it's fast, and you're hungry. You expect to be in the line 3 minutes tops. In fact, you have already allotted for this time in your day..."note to self, I have to get gas (5 minutes), pick up my prescription (5 minutes) and go through the drive through (3 minutes)." This totals 13 minutes. Then you round up to 15 minutes because a) 15 minute incriments are easier to deal with, and b) you leave the extra 2 minutes as a buffer, just in case. Ah, but what you didn't plan on was being stuck in the drive through for 15 minutes while the person in front of you brings out "the list"! We all know "the list", because we've all been a part of it sometime throughout our lives...whether we've been the food bitch who has to go out and pick up lunch for the entire office, or just another order number for the other poor sap who's "day " it is. Regardless, everyone on the planet knows that if you have a list you DON'T GO THROUGH THE DRIVE-THRU! I mean, really, who orders $44 worth of stuff from Taco Bell through a crappy little hard to understand speaker!! This moron woman was seriously yelling at the drive-thru worker through the stupid speaker because she had to keep repeating her "list" with speciality items on it because the worker couldn't get it right. FYI, why don't you go inside and SHOW THE LIST TO THE WORKER!! What a concept, right?! Here I was, trapped, behind this idiot woman, with no exit in sight since someone had pulled in behind me...and all I want is ONE FRIGGIN $2.99 GRILLED CHICKEN CEASAR WRAP! Honestly, shouldn't there be a price limit set on the drive-thru? Or better still, a complexity parameter? Like if you want 20 Grilled Stuft Burritos, then you are allowed to go through the drive-thru because you can say everything you want without any "and's". I think there should be a three "and" limit. Like you could say, "I want 2 chicken soft tacos, and an order of cinnatwists, and a coke. But the moment you use more than 3 "and's", the establishment has the right to kick you out of the drive-thru. "Thank you for choosing Taco Bell, go ahead with your order." "Ya, can I get 1 fiesta potato with extra sour cream, and 1 cheesy gordita, no cheese, and 1 bean burrito with hot sauce, and then gimmie..." "I'm sorry, sir, you have reached your complexity limit. I'm gonna have to ask you to please drive through and come inside". Ridiculous.

Ok, now that I have gotten that off my chest, I can talk about the more interesting things that happened over the weekend. So Friday night Jenn and I were off to Dog N Bone to chill for the evening. But when we got there, they were blasting Reggae music so loud you could hear it down the block. And we should know, since we left and high tailed it down to Murdock's for a little peace and quiet. We were cool for about 5 minutes...and then the awkward encounter happened. Let me fill you in on a little background first. I used to sell copiers for Canon Business Solutions about a year ago. I happened to sell a copier to a Mr. Robert Brisson of Dromcreo Furniture off US-1 in Rockledge. He was a nerdy, socially retarded Momma's Boy, who had developed a crush on me...so it was a pretty easy sell. He asked me out numerous times, but I always managed to bob and weave around the situation.

So about a month goes by and I don't hear from him or anything? Strange, since he has always been up my ass before? Then I find out why he has been so aloof that night on the evening news. He and his Mother have been arrested for duping people out of their money and for running a shite busines!! They actually stole money from people...in Brevard county! This isn't New York where people don't know who you are. I mean, everyone knows you, or at least knows of you. Especially since you were in the Chamber of Commerce and everything!

Since that incident, about a year ago, I hadn't seen or heard from him. I assumed they moved because they'd be too ashamed to show their faces around town. No such luck. Jenn and I had just ordered two beers, when in walks Rob, with his Mother in tow no less. All I want to do is run away, but we just ordered the beers and we didn't want to stiff the waiter. I avoid eye contact and and pretend he's not looking directly at me for the whole beer. He's actually sitting across from me about 15 feet away, which was a damn shame because there were some pretty decent guys sitting between Rob and I that I now couldn't flirt with or make eye contact with for fear that Rob might think the google eyes are meant for him and come over to talk. Damn him for showing up and putting a damper on everything, but thank God he didn't try to talk to me!

After we escaped Murdock's uncontaminated with Rob cooties, we decided to try something new. I suggested we head to Applebee's Tiki Bar in Merritt Island since we have never been. It was dead. Jenn's turn to pick a place. This time we're off to Paddy Cassidy's in Cocoa Beach. It was also dead, and kinda scary. So we both agree to head to Coconuts and give that a shot. As we were about to head in, we notice a bar next door that sounds happenin. We head in, grab a beer and sit outside on the beach. It was nice, but definately an older crowd (what else is new). By this point we are frusterated, so it's time for reinforcements. We start calling people to see if they have any better ideas. Gus is at Main Street Pub...too far to go for how late it is already, but he suggests we check out the Pier (which we do later, but it is dead too). Aleks ( a co-worker), on the other hand, sounds like he's and Johnny-D are having a fabulous time at this little hole in the wall bar on Merritt Island...so we head there. We end up having a ton of fun and taking the party back to Aleks' place after the bar closes. Here are a few pics from the night:


Saturday, I am hurting. Too much beer. My head hurts and I'm not really right til that afternoon. So I got in some good TV watchin that day. That night we planned on heading to Springfest to listen to Chris Cagle and munch on some fried things. I was a little disappointed that the Chowder wasn't there? And all the seafood was waaaaayyyy too over-priced. So I ended up drinking a few O3's and eating a corn on the cob. Chris was ok, but not spectacular, so we didn't stay til the end. It was still kinda early, so we decided to head for coffee and shoot the shit for a bit. So now that Viera Starbucks is 24 hours, we can hang out on the porch as long as we want...too bad the flippin inside closes at 10pm still. It's annoying to have to go through the drive-thru to get your coffee, and then get out of your car to sit outside. But we can't have it all I guess.

Wait, I forgot to tell you the best part. Jill won us and Jenn a Carnie fish! 2 years ago Jenn and Renzo won a Carnie fish at Seafest, and the damn thing is still alive and well! We will see how long this one lasts.

So I have this neighbor that I've never met...or even seen for that matter. I have nicknamed him Danny Phantom (it's a cartoon on Nickelodean...that I've never seen...really). I am always missing him by like 5 minutes. I'll look out the window and see his car there, then 5 minutes later when I head out the door, it's gone. I'll be outside watering the plants for 20 minutes, but the moment I put the hose away and am out of his view, he sneaks in his car and drives away. The stupid woman at the Taco Bell even caused me to miss him by about a minute! Now I have actually seen the car in motion, but I can't see who is inside because he has massively tinited windows. I have this theory that he just seeps into his car from below. I have heard the car door slam, so I know he does open the door, but that doesn't mean he's not made of some futuristic, Terminator 2, shape-shifting metal. Now I'm not really a voyeur, or even that nosy about my neighbors...but I have seen just about all of them at some point. It's just bugging me. I will keep you posted on any future sightings.

ok...I am starting to not feel very well. I think I need to go home. I will post more later.

I am home now, and not feeling too well. I stopped off at CVS and grabbed some crackers and Ginger Ale to help settle me. I hate being sick...especally since I will have to miss the gym today. I was really looking forward to getting into my workout this week. Dammit :(

Jill and I were messing with this crazy website the other day. My Heritage lets you upload a photo of yourself and then tells you what celebrity you look like the most. So here is my result...what do you think? Am I a Monica?

Also this weekend, Jill and I found this great new reality show called "Can't Get a Date" on VH1. It's so weird how the camara man talks to the dateless person because he has such a monotone, narrative voice. So not only is the show hillarious, but useful for the clueless people out there. I highly recommend.

ok, not feeling well again. Will post more later.