To err is human...

So something strange happened last night. As I was checking my match.com e-mail, I saw a familiar name and face that had given me a wink. Remember this guy, Don, aka Disney Guy? Needless to say, I was taken aback. What to do? So I IM'd him and said, "So I'm assuming the wink you sent me last night was some sort of mistake"? The rest of the conversation will be given in a play-by-play:

DonOtown: No, it was more like a hello, hope that you have been well
saturn8isgreat: I guess I am more than slightly confused...
DonOtown: Why?
DonOtown: Can I not say hello
saturn8isgreat: ...we ended on such crappy terms though?
DonOtown: No, I do not believe so
saturn8isgreat: Well, why don't you let me in on how things went down in your head then
DonOtown: I was standoffish
DonOtown: You wanted to accelerate my pace and I took the way way back seat
saturn8isgreat: ...and then you said you would call me to talk about it, and then avoided me until I gave up...
DonOtown: I didnt know how to approach it
saturn8isgreat: So you took the cowards way out and ran
DonOtown: No, not a coward, I was just not sure what I wanted
saturn8isgreat: Well you could've let me in on that fact, you know
DonOtown: Agreed, but where I may have been cowardice is there, because I didnt know how to tell you where you where going to fit into my life when I wasn't sure myself
DonOtown: I needed sometime to figure it out and I should have been clear
DonOtown: I really liked spending time with you
DonOtown: We had fun
saturn8isgreat: Leaving me in the dark about everything was not the right thing to do. It was hurtful and immature.
DonOtown: I will accept that
saturn8isgreat: Do I get an apology for it at least?
DonOtown: I am incredibly sorry
DonOtown: Rene' you are an amazing woman
DonOtown: I knew that from the moment we started chatting
DonOtown: When I met you I was blown away
DonOtown: I did not know how to deal with that and I backed away
DonOtown: I am sorry that I put you through heartache in any way...I was afraid...and I apologize if I hurt you
saturn8isgreat: So, what is it that you want from me?
DonOtown: I know that I would like you in my life
DonOtown: To what degree, I am not sure
DonOtown: Friend or lover?
DonOtown: ...or is both possible?
saturn8isgreat: ...sounds like you need to do some more thinking
DonOtown: It would provide more clarity if I knew what it is that you desire to make you happy DonOtown: We never really talked about that
DonOtown: I wish that we would have
saturn8isgreat: Look, I know what I want, but I don't think you kow what you want...there-in lies the problem. And knowing what I want shouldn't be a factor in your decisions.
DonOtown: Agreed
DonOtown: I just do not know how to make that next step
DonOtown: What is it that you would like from me?
saturn8isgreat: You know, I had already said my goodbye...so really I don't want nor need anything from you. If you want to be back in my life though, it will take some effort on your part...you've already hurt me once, and for no good reason...it seems that only a fool would sign up for more of the same, don't you think?
DonOtown: If that is the way that you percieve it, I am at a disadvantage
saturn8isgreat: Well, honey, you put yourself there, I didn't do it to you, right?
DonOtown: Yes, you are correct
saturn8isgreat: And if you think I am as "amazing" as you say I am, then I bet a little effort isn't going to stop you from getting what you want
DonOtown: True
DonOtown: I would like to see you again
saturn8isgreat: Let me ask you this first...how do I know I'm not just going to get more of the same thing again? We go out a few times, then you disappear on me?
DonOtown: Maybe we can start slow?
saturn8isgreat: I hope that's not the answer to my question
DonOtown: That is no answer
DonOtown: No excuse
saturn8isgreat: Should I repeat the question for you?
DonOtown: I know that your fear is that I will come back in again and lead you on and disappear again
saturn8isgreat: It's a valid fear
DonOtown: It is what I have displayed for you so far
saturn8isgreat: (hint: this is the part where you reassure me by telling me that it will NEVER happen again)
DonOtown: I will never leave you in the dark again
DonOtown: I will explain next time
saturn8isgreat: Man, that's all I ever wanted. I thought I at least deserved an explanation as to what happened. You can not do that again.
DonOtown: I have some challenges having people close to me sometimes but I will be forthcoming in the future
saturn8isgreat: That's a very adult thing to do :-)
We all have our faults and hang-ups, u know (I am far from perfect), but if we let those around us know what's going on, it shows we respect them and care about their feelings
DonOtown: I couldnt concur more
saturn8isgreat: Well, then I suppose the ball is in your court now...
DonOtown: Okay, I accept that
DonOtown: It is up to me
DonOtown: Again, I am sorry for how I reacted
saturn8isgreat: Apology accepted, now show me how much you are not like that guy
DonOtown: Done

When I was angrier about the whole situation, back when it was fresh, I remember thinking that if he ever tried to contact me, I would really give him a piece of my mind. But give me a few months, and the fact that I don't hold grudges on people, and I suppose I can think rationally about the situation with emotions aside. Not to mention that I was extremely curious as to how he felt about me. This does not mean that I believe anything he says...he will definately have to back everything up with actions...but he did apologize, and I guess I am a sucker for apologies. Nobody's perfect, and people screw up. To err is human, to forgive, divine.

I am not holding my breath for him though, nor will I be waiting around for him to call me. I will still be living my life as usual, and if he wants to get together, then I will see if I can fit him into my schedule.

FYI, this is the first time I have ever had someone do this to me...contact me again out of nowhere and say they want to see me again...so I'm kinda feeling my way through it. Maybe I made the wrong decision by talking to him again, and I will just wind up hurt (read: easy target), but after carefully considering my words thoroughly before I wrote them (believe it or not, this conversation above about took about 1.5 hours), I am comfortable with what I said and the decision I've made.