The dreaded "D" word...

Ugh...I had a bad dream this morning about divorce. It wasn't even my divorce, but it was enough to wake me out a sound sleep at 5am. It was also enough to keep me awake because I was very upset and angry. I tried to finish a crossword puzzle that I was working on the night before, but I wasn't into it. All I could think about is how I should've slapped Bobby in the face when he told me on my birthday that he wanted to divorce me. I should've slapped him, then called him an asshole. I should've done something for Christ's sake! Instead I just sat there and cried about it. I try not to dwell on it, because it is in the past and there is nothing I can do about it now. And for the most part, I never think about it. But sometimes I guess my brain just feels the need to revisit the situation. Perhaps I am getting too happy and I need to be brought back down to reality? Maybe I need to be reminded of what I went through in order to appreciate what I don't have to deal with now? Who knows how our brains work!? Seriously though, I almost took the day off in order to deal with it all. And I would've done it too if I had to deal with people today, but as it is, Walt and Lori, my officemates, are out for the day. So I decided I would come in and do some work and try to keep my mind occupied. Yup, there's nothing like pretending everything is ok to make you feel better, because if you do it long enough, you will start to believe it. It's like those people that tell a lie so often that they actually believe it happened. I can trick myself like that.

I actually talked to the runner girl at the gym yesterday. I had just finished my run and she hopped on the treadmill next to me. This is how the conversation went down:
Me: "If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been running?"
Her: "About a year now."
Me: "Wow! You know I was watching your treadmill routine on Monday and I was most impressed...so Jenn and I tried it out for ourselves yesterday."
Her: "Oh ya? How did it go?"
Me: "Terrible, we only made it through one round and we vowed never to go at 8.0 mph again!"
Her : "Haha...I know the feeling! When Jimmy had me start this routine, he wanted me to go from 6.0 mph to 9.0mph! I can only go 9.0 mph for about 1 minute and then I'm spent."

She then re-introduced herself as Stephanie and invited me to join her and Jimmy to run on Mon, Wed, and Fri. I told her I might just take her up on that. Nothing like someone who is faster than me to make me work harder, right?!

I actually did a 20 minute run on the treadmill last night and made it to 1.96 miles. I ran at 5.5 mph for 5 minutes, then 6.0 mph for 5 minutes, then back down to 5.5 for 8 minutes, then 6.0 for 1 minute, and 7.0 for the last minute. And I still managed to do 10 minute miles! It seems that no matter what I do, I can't get better than a 10 minute mile dammit!
I still felt the need to run when I got home, so I took off around the neighborhood and ran another 1.6 miles. It took me 18 minutes to do it though, but I blame it on the heat and the fact that my legs were tired from pushing so hard earlier. I could definitely feel myself running slower than usual.

Oh ya, and the Delta II MiTEx went off yesterday. I would like to say it went off without a hitch, but it was about 45 minutes late due to a problem with the heater on one of the micro-satellites. But it went off none-the-less which makes Jenn's life, and indirectly my life, a whole lot better. And since I can't upload photos today, you will have to check out the website for pics: SpaceflightNow.com

I am thinking I will probably go to County Line tonight since I didn't go last week, and I can't go next week due to ypB. Maybe some hard core line dancing will make me feel better.